HELPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
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Helping Your Relationship
ARE you there for me?
• Are you Accessible when I need you?
• Are you Responsive when I call?
• Are you Engaging with me when I miss you?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) sees these compelling questions as fundamentally underlying most conflicts in distressed relationships, no matter what an immediate trigger for the conflict may be on the surface. The message of EFT is simple: Forget about learning “communication skills”, analyzing in great details your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and take in that in close relationships you are inevitably emotionally attached to and depend on each other in difficult moments, in a similar way that a child is on a parent, for caring, soothing, support and safety.
As practitioners of the highly successful Emotionally Focused Therapy, we offer an effective and scientifically-proven path towards helping you and your partner to restore hope, connection and intimacy in your relationship.
When seeking therapy, for a while your struggling relationship might have been sounding something like this:
“We argue over the same issues over and over, but nothing ever gets resolved.”
“When I want to talk about the problem, my partner shuts down — sometimes even leaves the room!”
“I’m so sad because our sex life seems to have almost vanished.”
“We’re walking on eggshells with each other, and we’re afraid the children feel the tension, too.”
“We try to talk about all this, but we end up feeling worse . . . And hopeless. Where did our love go?”
Therapy that Gets to the “Heart” of Conflict and Disconnection
When a relationship is in distress we tend to start a habitual ‘dance’ which Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples, calls the Demon Dialogues. One person starts complaining and criticising and gets angry and the other starts defending and stonewalling. The couple get caught up in this negative dance which takes on a life of its own as it gains momentum, and very soon we see the other person as the enemy.
EFT helps the partners identify the patterns of blame and distancing and where the misunderstandings are. They begin to appreciate their own and their partner’s vulnerability and to be able to speak a deeper truth of what they are feeling and needing in the relationship. EFT shows couples that love comes from feeling that your partner is emotionally available to you, that what is important can be shared and received and that you are special and important to them.
Address Stuck Patterns and Negative Cycles in your relationship
EFT gives you the tools and knowledge that you need to de-escalate situations with your partner before a conflict between you arises
Make sense of your and partner’s emotions which ‘feed the cycle’
Learn how to understand what you and your partner are feeling to better communicate with each other on a softer emotional level
Re-navigate your cycle into a place of safety and connection
In EFT therapy partners experience deep, fundamental positive shifts in their understanding, closeness and connection
We Offer Support, Knowledge and Guidance in Rebuilding Relationships
Couples who experience turmoil in their relationship can become easily overwhelmed and frustrated. It can leave you with the worry and shattered hope of whether your relationship can be restored. EFT Clinic in London offers couples a well-researched and proven way to give their relationship a second wind toward rebuilding a loving connection. Our team specializes in helping you to learn about what you are feeling and what may be causing the feelings you have which then ‘drive’ your negative cycle of interaction. As you go through the process, not only will you build a safer relationship, trust, communication, and your sexual relationship but also a better understanding of your partner, develop ‘tools for life’ to ward off conflict and be more connected with your own emotions and others.
We Personalize Your Sessions to Fit Your Needs
One of the components in the path to healing is making sure that you can express your feelings from a tenderer place in a way that others can understand, hear you, and bring both of you closer together, rather than pushing away. Our therapists help you create the right therapy path for both you and your partner. Working on your relationship does not have to be a constant struggle. The tailored plan that your therapist creates for you will make the process of repair effective and safe for you both. Our goal is to work with you and your partner until the distress that you feel in your relationship becomes a feeling of strength.
A Snapshot of the Change Process in Emotionally Focused Therapy session
I don’t want to fight anymore…I want us to be close again…
In a therapy session, a husband’s numb withdrawal deepens into a sense of disappointment and helplessness. He moves from “There is no point in talking to you. I don’t want to fight” to “I want you to give me a chance. I do want us to be close. Let me learn how to dance with you” He can now state his need for respect and understanding and become more accessible to his wife.
His wife’s harsh critical anger and desperation then softens into sadness and vulnerability. She moves from “You just don’t care. You don’t get it” to a much softer “It is so difficult to say ― but I need you to hold me ― reassure me ― can you?” She can now ask for and elicit comfort from her partner. New cycles of bonding interactions occur and replace negative cycles such as ‘pursue-withdraw’ or ‘criticize-defend’. These positive cycles of closeness then become self-reinforcing and create lasting change. The relationship becomes a safe haven and a healing place for both partners.
Let’s Meet and Talk
Get in Touch to schedule Free 20min Initial Phone Assessment or Face-to-Face extended Assessment with your therapist
We are located in the famous Harley Street Therapeutic district with excellent transport links and parking.
We are here to help, and we want to be the ones to help you!